spock

I really want to get into this like it¡¯s a new piece of pusssy , but I can¡¯t right now because it¡¯s my turn to lead the commencement ceremonies at my church¡¯s altar rosary society tonight , so if you¡¯re not banned I¡¯ll explain myself later . God bless . 

Spock....when you come back please be sure to bring the tape I made you entitled the ultimate friendship break up tape, especially the one by Porno for Pyros and also They Might Be Giants

¡° Their court , their rules ¡°

how simple right ?

Sydney and Billy really encapsulate your dilemma right here in this little conversation they have . To me it makes perfect sense . You gotta do nearly impossible things to meet the requirements that they have set forth . So that you can post in ¡° that ¡° forum . I know . It sucks .

But maybe you got an unbelievable hook shot in you man .

Now aim at The Sudan and good luck . But watch out for the Stookey brothers because they¡¯re closing in and your life may be in Jeopardy ¡­¡­¡­.here at Covers.com .

So don¡¯t let Rosie Perez and her chipmunk smile and giant tits down bro . Make the shot because I too know what¡¯s it¡¯s like to feel thirsty ? Ya dig .

can¡¯t do it . Won¡¯t do it . I gave that tape to Mrs . VillaLobos that¡¯s in my church group . The bitch loved it . You¡¯d think I smuggled heroin up my butt and crossed the border and gave her the proceeds with the way she acted so thankful .

Maybe I¡¯m just flattering myself a bit too much but I think she might want me to wring out her mop bucket if you know what I mean . You think that God would frown upon me in the most undesirable manner if I attempted to hit the skins ? Seeing as we first encountered each other¡¯s physical form in a place of worship ?

please advise .

Damn . Y¡¯all some cold hearted snakes like Paula Abdul sang about disguised as regular folk up in this piece . Chagrins and winces to that . Guy is pouring his heart out over the possibility of his soul being relegated to eternal damnation over bedding a slightly chubby yet beautiful faced Latina woman who mothered 3 children out of her vulva slip and slide and you¡¯d think I was the Mush from Goodfellas yellin¡¯ out ¡° Kryptonite ¡° in this motherfucker . Nobody can give a little insight towards my dilemma ?

spock, bang them all because you can't take them with you...

Kinda like water bottles through airport security . Gotcha . Drink up I guess . 

Thank you for the advice btw . I mean how can I not right ? Cuz with the look that she gives me , I can envision her clothes flying off faster than the hubcaps on your grampappy’s Cadillac when he inevitably drives over the curb because of , well , old age ….. ya dig ?

Let the hubcaps fly my friend...let them fly

One I see them on the roadway it's like another notch on the bed post of those who have been slain in the sack....getcha some turtle doves

Yo imma go for it . But if she¡¯s got too much toothage on the skittle I¡¯m throwin¡¯ her back into the pond and findin¡¯ somewhere else to skinny dip ya feel me . Praise Jesus . 

@spockgato

Hold up, Senor Gato ...

You talking about getting knob from Mrs Villalobos? With an emphasis on the 'MRS'

Those latinas are nuts. That woman gonna take you home, tie you up, and let her husband have his way with you. I'm talking leather chaps, ball gag, nipple clamps, and double dong dildos like in the movie Requiem For A Dream.

Could be fun

Covers is the best.

Yo Mrs. VillaLobos¡¯ husband is M.I.A . and most likely deceased , due to his involvement with shady coyote¡¯  business dealings , cuz eyeball this script I¡¯m about to jot down :

he allegedly ran peeps across the border for the cartels but found a way to circumvent the money he had to kickback to them by just not giving a fuck and pocketing that shit for himself .

supposedly they caught him slippin¡¯ when he was doin¡¯ pushups on the side of the road one day cuz apparently homeboy was all into his pectorals and what not and boom , that was 3 years ago , and ain¡¯t nobody seen him since .

They found a mustache hair at the scene and DNA analysis came back positive as a match to him . It also had a booger stuck to it that smelled like he ate something with hot sauce on it but that¡¯s neither here nor there .

she told me all of this while we were slowly walking in the park together and gazing into each other¡¯s eyes . Then I stepped in shit and we stopped talking about it because the smell on the bottom of my shoes was unbearable .

and don¡¯t worry about the Latinas with me brother . I got that shit on lock . Cuz I watch Univision all the time . I ain¡¯t gonna lie though . It seems like beans is a big part of her diet and I¡¯m just not a guy that¡¯s gonna be there to hear air get passed through body openings , unless it¡¯s a queef , ya feel me ?

so technically she¡¯s married but not married married . But if she does file those papers the luster will most likely wear off because that¡¯s part of her appeal . If that happens I¡¯m just gonna start sweet talking the sister . Cuz The booty on that thot is magnificence .

@spockgato

 How chubby we talkin?

I¡¯m talkin¡¯ at least a buck fifty but with at least 6 or 7 of that poundage bein¡¯ just pure tit . She wears it well though , like a shapely beef suit that caresses and accentuates her skeleton in the most flattering manner possible . No cankles or double chin visible and I got that Ted Williams scope ya feel me ?

But like I said not sure if her taco salad is specifically made for me , although Mary Magdalene is her favorite person from the Bible besides Jesus of course , just like mine , so she¡¯s got that goin¡¯ for her , plus she sports them dimples that I like , on her face cheeks not the butt ones ,

but then again I ain¡¯t seen that bad boy sans the clothing coverage , so I took her choice of biblical character preference as a sign , like you and the kid in grade school that always thought Snake Eyes was the coolest G.I.Joe so you just knew that you could hang out with the dude , although I don¡¯t really believe in that fantastical sign shit at all and I never even danced to that Ace of Base song back in the day either . ya dig ?

baby bangin¡¯ from the back son . Dump truck curves on that molten lava tip dogg . 

Buck fiddy ain't nada....pound that shit....she just needs a little bedroom workout...some weight training as you drop that meat inside her locker...

In a few months she will have dropped that sugar weight and will be a lean mean buck forty eight...then it's go time

Thanks . I need this type of motivation . Cuz that Billy Blanks and his Tae-Bo bullshit just aint cuttin’ it no more . I swear the last time I dusted off one of his VHS tapes and watched it I coulda sworn I saw a small coke ring around his nostril . How can that guy be a role model to anyone ? With his ballerina moves and his vacant eyes ? What was I thinking following him ?

That deadbeat wanna-be is probably sprawled out on a pleather couch somewhere with a Filipina rubbing his feet thanks to me and my ridiculous thirst for jujitsu knowledge . I’m glad I know better these days . I just do those straight prison exercises now . Using only body weight . And kicking those small children off of the playground and those little bars they got just hanging around everywhere is just a small price to pay for physical fitness I guess . Where else am I supposed to get swole ? I ain’t doin no chin-ups on a streetlight . Ya feel me ?

I guess somebody’s gotta be the bad guy . And I got no blemishes on my face but go ahead , you can call me Scarface . I’ll permit it .

Tiny dancer is making a comeback

I¡¯ve never been on that . Sorry . Homeboy singin¡¯ that ditty with his star shaped glasses and bangin¡¯ on them piano keys with his sausage fingers like it was Ike beating Tina just was never my deal . I don¡¯t care that rainbows were sprouting out of his sphincter slit and causing mass hysteria to the close minded . Cuz that was never my jib . Because I¡¯ve always appreciated the differences in people . I was voted Most Friendly for Christ¡¯s sake . But since i referenced her , Ms . Turner¡¯s ¡° Private Dancer ¡° is hands down the better ¡° dancer ¡° song in my opinion . For my money anyway . And that¡¯s not just because Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is in my top 100 movies of all time either . Lady had a way with words . I¡¯m just upset that more chicks don¡¯t go for that spiky straw hat hair look she donned with that wig she wore in the video . Because I think it¡¯s a very peculiar look but also very becoming . Lita Ford too . She had that I just got shocked by the electrical outlet appearance too . I always ogled her . I could never Close My Eyes . Ya dig ?

@spockgato

 Hmmm she gotta a sister?

No, but she has a brother who is currently in transition and has a sign up sheet for those waiting to first test drive the new equipment

Nothing like the smell of new equipment before it becomes used and on craigslist... 

@ABooksNightmare

 Lol