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I need some advise

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mafioso

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Joined: Jul, 2010

Posts: 2664

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:17 AM ET #1

Usually I never ask especially here but Im torn between doing what I want to do and what I promised to do.

My father who was also my best friend passed away December 18 2015

Its been tough real tough for me emotionally

My father was a good man

about 20 years ago an 18 year old mexican girl with a 1 year old kid who cold pass for my sisters twin

walked in my pizza shop

My dad always hung around

He was he was always a fixture at all my restaurants.

He sees this girl and he says

she needs a job and doesnt have a place to stay

my response was

We are not a shelter

He said she looks just like your sister

To make a long story short

he became a father figure for the kid

practically raising her in our home

Introduced her mother to her future husband

My dad was always there for them

Last year the little girl turned 19 and my dad bought her a car

a 2008 Dodge Nitro

Personally I never bonded or liked these people

I felt like they used him more than loved him.

Before my father passed

he was telling me what he wanted done if something happened to him

Iv done most everything

Waiting to sell his 500,000 dollar home and all thats left

is 50K to my sisters kids

and 10K to the mexican girl and her daughter

I had no problem fullfilling this at first and then this happened

https://www.cbp.gov/newsroom/local-media-release/2016-06-24-000000/border-patrol-discovers-cocaine-stashed-inside-fire

Look

My father hated drugs

Hated drug dealers

and detested drug smugglers

No doubt in my mind

If my father was alive today

He would have cut her off forever for this

the car he bought her is still in his name and that has been seized

He paid 8000 down and I think still owes 4000

Her mom called me today and actually had the nerve to ask me if I would co sign for her

put my business up and my house

NOWAY

Bottomline

I doubt I could get the car back

so thats over 8K that my dad paid thats gone.

Would any of you still give the 10K?

My dad said thats what he wanted

but I knew my father better than anyone

this would have made him go nuts

and more than likely she will spend 5 to 10 years in prison

what would you guys do?

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Slobbasaurus

Captain

Joined: Sep, 2007

Posts: 7150

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 9:41 AM ET #2

I'd go with your instinct.

You can always put it away and see if she changes her life after her prison sentence . She'll still be relatively young.

Personally, I wouldn't give it to her now, but that's just my 2 cents.

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GimmeMoneyNow

Veteran

Joined: Apr, 2015

Posts: 2874

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 10:03 AM ET #3

So, the "little girl" is 19 now, you say???

Maybe there could be a little, ahem, "trade agreement" with Mexico.....

Just kidding!

Do what Slob says. Maybe even invest it for them in something safe and in 5-10 years if they turn their lives around you hand them $20 or $25,000 instead of just $10,000. But for God's sake don't mortgage your own house or anything like that!

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jamesxnj

Veteran

Joined: Nov, 2010

Posts: 1086

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 11:06 AM ET #4

First off,condolences on your Father's passing.

My thought is He has done quite enough already.

I'm sure that gift of the car was intended to help the girl out and provide solid transportation for work,school whatever and make something of herself..and what a gift imo to a young Mexican national.Lifechanging.

But she blew it and blew it badly.

One of those things that will happen and eventually you think to yourself boy glad Dad is not here to see this..(9/11 in my case)

I'd cut them off completely and asking you for a co-sign is pretty ballsy esp if your gut thinks they were using your father.Now gonna try and play you?

No doubt about it.Tell the Mom is she ever gets the car back you will pay off the balnce and transfer the title..(Your father's original deal)

GL man

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KingScorpio

Hall of Fame

Joined: Nov, 2005

Posts: 23354

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 11:14 AM ET #5

Do what your dad said.

You are not the judge in life.

You shouldn't get any money from the sale of the house because you can't follow his orders.

You're a typical selfish scumbag.

Maybe you can take away your sisters share to if you look hard enough.

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 11:54 AM ET #6

^ Have to honor your father's wishes. If you're the executor of his estate then by law you must pay beneficiaries.

If the car was in your father's name CBP should give it back to you when they are finished with the case.

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rainmaker1855

Rookie

Joined: Feb, 2016

Posts: 738

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 12:41 PM ET #7

yea it's a tough one, my advice tho is to honor your father's wishes as his executor, give them the $10k and then explain that your relationship with them has concluded and no further contact would be permitted. if you hold on the money maybe they come after it or bother you, sounds like you just need to get these people out of your life while still honoring your father's wishes for his money.

GL OP, let us know how it plays out for ya

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666LES

Veteran

Joined: Dec, 2006

Posts: 4299

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 2:04 PM ET #8

I'm a paralegal in NYState and have some understanding of EstateLaw. In NY,one of your first duties as ext. of will is notify any person named in the will that they are bene. and allow them to read the will.Before any $ is distributed,you must settle all of your father's debts(is the 4k on the car his debt or her debt?)

Did your father make any stipulation on the girl in order to gain the 10k? If he didn't,you don't,your role is an officer of the court to carry out the stated wishes of the deceased in a speedy manner.

Again,in NY you as executor,you would have had notified every bene. named in the will and obtained their signature that they agree to allow you to carry out the provisions of the will before you distribute anything.

I can't believe FLA law is that different from NY. As an officer of the court if you fudge on any of these matters you are held to a higher standard and open yourself to felon charges.

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666LES

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Joined: Dec, 2006

Posts: 4299

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 3:17 PM ET #9

Person who intentionally exerts unauthorized control over property of another person commits criminal Conversion.Since the property is$10,000,I believe that this would be a Felony Conversion.

This advice is worth exactly the amount that you paid for it.

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 3:53 PM ET #10

Quote Originally Posted by 666LES:

I'm a paralegal in NYState and have some understanding of EstateLaw. In NY,one of your first duties as ext. of will is notify any person named in the will that they are bene. and allow them to read the will.Before any $ is distributed,you must settle all of your father's debts(is the 4k on the car his debt or her debt?)

Did your father make any stipulation on the girl in order to gain the 10k? If he didn't,you don't,your role is an officer of the court to carry out the stated wishes of the deceased in a speedy manner.

Again,in NY you as executor,you would have had notified every bene. named in the will and obtained their signature that they agree to allow you to carry out the provisions of the will before you distribute anything.

I can't believe FLA law is that different from NY. As an officer of the court if you fudge on any of these matters you are held to a higher standard and open yourself to felon charges.

All true, 66 I think FL like most of the southern states go through the probate process, that takes close to a year to settle. Unless there's a living tru/will that you of course know all about. Either way, the executor works for the beneficiaries to the letter. It's a thankless job.

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thecentaur

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2012

Posts: 2049

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 4:05 PM ET #11

I really identify with you here man

My father has a huge heart and is extremely generous, but he doesn't see the real side of people when he isn't around

Your first sentence about why your dad was compelled to help her says a lot, that "she looks like your sister". That is not a valid reason for helping someone.

There are consequences to naked generosity, as you and I have found out. Am I right that she used this car he helped her with to smuggle cocaine into our country? I doubt that is anything your dad would want to be a part of. I would do anything I legally could to keep that other 10k in your family. Who knows what else she will use it for? This girl can not be rewarded with 10k after her bs.

I won't get in to the several examples of the situations and people my dad's generosity has exposed my family and I to. Disgusting these women now want to use you, the next generation, but far from unbelievable. People aren't perfect, and your dad made a mistake with his heart. Worst case, you may have to pay out the 10k but they know you never want to see or hear from them again. They are evil, poisonous c**ts, especially the mom (wants you to put up your house and business WTF)

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thecentaur

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2012

Posts: 2049

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 4:10 PM ET #12

Quote Originally Posted by mafioso:

and more than likely she will spend 5 to 10 years in prison

And now California gets to pay to take care of this Mexican national for 5 to 10 years great

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TheGoldenGoose

Legend

Joined: Jan, 2003

Posts: 32160

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 4:32 PM ET #13

"I'm torn between doing what I want to do and what I promised to do".

This is life. What it's all about. You will be torn hundreds, maybe thousands of times. Some will say follow the Law of the Land. Some will say follow the Law of your God. It is not always a simple choice. And I do not pretend to know all the answers.

But this I know from living a half century on this Planet. Follow your Heart. It always knows the way. When you are always at Peace with your Heart, you will always be completely Free in your Spirit. And there is no more powerful feeling in the Universe.

~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 4:56 PM ET #14

Muling 3 kilos doesn't make a 19 year old girl the devil. She made a mistake and a bad decision like all other teenagers do. The felony charge will ride her for the rest of her life, and that's on top of the prob 2-3 years time. Give her the money dude, she's going to need it when she gets out and definitely when she's in.. I'm sure your father wouldn't abandon her. You would be dishonoring him by not following through with his wishes. Not only ethically but legally.

Have a heart.

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thecentaur

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2012

Posts: 2049

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 5:29 PM ET #15

Quote Originally Posted by searchwarrant:

Muling 3 kilos doesn't make a 19 year old girl the devil. She made a mistake and a bad decision like all other teenagers do. The felony charge will ride her for the rest of her life, and that's on top of the prob 2-3 years time. Give her the money dude, she's going to need it when she gets out and definitely when she's in.. I'm sure your father wouldn't abandon her. You would be dishonoring him by not following through with his wishes. Not only ethically but legally.

Have a heart.

Respectfully disagree search

I have known too many charity cases that smile to your face and spit at your back

Bottom line, no good, ethical person uses a car she doesn't own to smuggle drugs into a country of which she isn't a citizen, no matter what their age. Maybe deep down there is something there but probably not, and it isn't OP's job to find out.

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bigvern1013

Veteran

Joined: Oct, 2006

Posts: 3051

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 5:35 PM ET #16

Sympathies for your loss.

Don't give her the cash. There is a good chance that she is in with some nefarious fellows, and odds are the money will end up in their pockets. The bottom line is you don't know what she and her family are into, and need to distance yourself from it immediately.

If you still want to help her, wait for her to do her time and clean up. Then you can give her a job, place to stay, and then maybe the cash.

Unless your dad's directions are in a legally binding document it is all here say....I advise to hold onto the money...if your father has a problem with that, then you guys can talk it out in the next life.....and yes, he will understand.

One other observation...if you show up with 10k cash to give to an indicted drug mule the police will look on with interest and may even investigate you, your late father, and your businesses.

Get clear of this my man. At least for now.

Never Make A Winner A Loser. Never.

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TheBallDontLie

Veteran

Joined: Sep, 2009

Posts: 4463

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 6:11 PM ET #17

Exactly what bigvern1013 said. If there is a legally binding contract you must, otherwise no way. The odds say she'll end right back up involved in drugs when she gets out within a few years. Great place for that $10K to go.

On a side note, your father did sound like a good guy. My father complained about having to purchase food for us as teenagers growing up, let alone a new car for somebody who isn't blood. So, I have a lot of respect for people like that.

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mafioso

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Joined: Jul, 2010

Posts: 2664

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:11 PM ET #18

My father didnt have a will

He did tell my real sister and I what he wanted

So far we have done all except my sisters share and this kids share.

My sister got married at an early age and left

had her own family and so on

She was shocked when my dad told her he wanted to leave her some money.

She keeps telling me that she doesnt want it and I tell her

You werent there the last 17 years of his life, as you were busy with your own family, His wishes are as he told you

take the money and give it to your kids if you dont want it.

But when this kid brought drugs in to our country and got nailed for it in the car that my dad bought for her.

it brought tears to my eyes

How she dragged his good name into this

See the car was in his name

He did this

just incase she dropped out of college in which he paid for

then he would take the car back.

he supported this family for 18 years

she needed money

Grandpa please

her mother needed money

Daddy please

Now her mom called me again

Begging me to co sign the bail

I said no

she has a boyfriend in mexico

and her real grandma is in mexico

She will run

become a fugitive and they will come after my home and my business.

I know my dad

Drugs would have been the last straw

but I dont know

my wife says

Dad would have cut her off

my cousin says

your dad would have been upset with her for a few weeks

then memories of her as a baby and him raising her would creep up and he would try and help.

personally Id rather give the 10Gs to my sisters kids.

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:13 PM ET #19

Well who knows the exact situation. One things for sure, his father obviously loved that little girl all of her life and I'd be impressed if he turned his back on her at this point.. The OP knows it. Now he's backing out of a promise to his father to take care of them with a little money when he passes. She may be a Mexican national but she's an American citizen. 19-1 = 18 years.

Smuggling cocaine in a lone bright red fire extinguisher in the trunk of a car under k9 noses tells me she's 100% rookie 1st timer.. Probably freaked out at the checkpoint and was an easy read in secondary.

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:17 PM ET #20

my cousin says

your dad would have been upset with her for a few weeks

then memories of her as a baby and him raising her would creep up and he would try and help.

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Crashdavis565

MVP

Joined: Dec, 2007

Posts: 15760

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:33 PM ET #21

If you are given things, you never appreciate them. I think they have taken advantage of you and they continue to do the same. They are not appreciative and have not put the love and devotion that your father gave them to good use. Why do you think they would now put the money to good use?

Follow your gut. It is true. You as the executor can only make the best decisions and then see where they go. Why continue to support someone who is not using the support to better themselves but is using it to cheat and break the law?

This is a no brainer to me

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 7:40 PM ET #22

I'd start by getting that kid out of jail...that's just cold. Obviously they don't consider her a flight risk, no priors?

She's going to sit there for forever until any proceedings. Then it's straight to Victorville.Ca

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thecentaur

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2012

Posts: 2049

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 8:02 PM ET #23

Cool, no will? You know your dad wouldn't approve of drugs and smuggling? Easy decision, if not for what you think your dad would want because of her actions then for what he would want for you. They fleeced him for all they could and now you're the mark. Give the 10k to your sister's kids and don't think twice about it

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thecentaur

Banned

Joined: Mar, 2012

Posts: 2049

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 8:03 PM ET #24

Quote Originally Posted by searchwarrant:

I'd start by getting that kid out of jail...that's just cold. Obviously they don't consider her a flight risk, no priors?

She's going to sit there for forever until any proceedings. Then it's straight to Victorville.Ca

He said she'll run though and come after him

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searchwarrant

Legend

Joined: May, 2003

Posts: 71023

Posted: Jun. 27, 2016 - 9:13 PM ET #25

Quote Originally Posted by thecentaur:

He said she'll run though and come after him

Bail jumping isn't like the movies. She surrenders her passport, is property of the Federal Govt, anybody that helps her becomes an instant accomplice to felony flight, etc etc...Marshals pick up jumpers every day in Mexico....

I dunno this kid but it's a convenient excuse to not pay them 10k or help anybody in any way that's in a serious jam.

King Scorpio up top has this dude pegged.

He's looking for everybody to confirm what he knows is the wrong thing to do.

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I need some advise

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