His thoughts on other food stars:
On Paula Deen
¡°The worst, most dangerous person to America is
clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil
corporations and she¡¯s proud of the fact that her food is bad for you.¡±
On Guy Fieri
¡°I look at Guy Fieri and I just think, ¡®¡I¡¯m glad that¡¯s not me.¡¯¡±
¡°If I had to be him for five hours, I¡¯d hang myself in a shower stall.¡±
¡°Anyone who¡¯s on TV, if you can¡¯t have a sense of humor about yourself, it¡¯s going to be a very tough road. If you can¡¯t make fun of Burrell and Fieri, comedy¡¯s dead.¡°
On Bobby Flay
¡°In service to this new, groin-level dynamic, even poor, loyal,
Bobby Flay was banished from cooking anywhere near as well as he
actually could¡ªto face off with web-fingered yokels in head to head crab
cake contests¡ªto almost inevitably (and dubiously) lose¡They¡¯re sending this poor guy all over the country, to trailer parks and meth labs.¡°
On Sandra Lee
¡°Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of
Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one
meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways
will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained¡The
eye-searing ¡®Kwanzaa Cake¡¯ clip on YouTube, of Sandra Lee doing things
with store-bought angel food cake, canned frosting, and corn nuts,
instead of being simply the unintentionally hilarious viral video it
should be, makes me mad for all humanity. I. Just. Can¡¯t. Help. It.¡±
On Bourdain¡¯s Brief Time at the Food Network
¡°I knew there was no light at the end of the tunnel the day we
were joined by a new hire¡ªthe lawyer and the (it would soon be revealed)
outgoing execs stood up and said, ¡°Say hello to Brook Johnson ¡ who
we¡¯re all delighted to have join us from ¡ (some other network).¡± Ms.
Johnson was clearly not delighted to meet me or my partners. You could
feel the air go out of the room the second she entered. It became
instantly a place without hope or humor. There was a limp handshake as
cabin pressure changed, a black hole of fun¡ªall light, all possibility of joy was sucked into the vortex of this hunched and scowling apparition. The indifference bordering on naked hostility was palpable.¡±
On The Food Network¡¯s Programming
¡°2007 was also the year that Food Network canceled ¡®Emeril Live,¡¯
and stopped ordering episodes of ¡®Molto Mario,¡¯ a calculated break with
the idea of the celebrity chef as a seasoned professional and a move
toward an entirely new definition: a personality with a saut¨¦ pan.¡°
On Scripps¡¯ Purchase of the Travel Channel
¡°I¡¯m definitely taking a wait-and-see [approach]. I¡¯m not happy about sharing a hot tub with Guy Fieri, is what I¡¯m saying.¡±
¡°Given recent developments, I would say that anything could happen. I¡¯m giving the whole enterprise some serious thought.
I know that my crew and I are really into pushing this season as far as
we can go creatively. We are doing an entire show in black and white,
dubbed in Italian.¡±
From Bourdain¡¯s 2010 memoir, Medium Raw:
¡°¡±It¡¯s Sandra Lee¡¯s world. It¡¯s Rachael¡¯s world. Me? You? We¡¯re just living in it. If this wasn¡¯t clear to me then, after Aunt Sandy had turned me inside out, left me shaken and husked, a shell of a man¡ªlike the remains of a lobster dinner, it
became absolutely clear just last week: When Scripps Howard, the parent
company of Food Network, outbidding Rupert Murdoch¡¯s NewsCorp, bought
my network, the Travel Channel¡ªfor nearly a billion dollars.
I remember now, from a distance, my earlier, dumber self,
watching Emeril, hawking toothpaste (and later, Rachael, endorsing
Dunkin¡¯ Donuts and Ritz Crackers) and gaping, uncomprehending at the
screen, wondering, ¡®Why would anybody making the millions and millions
of bucks these guys are making endorse some crap for a few million more?
I mean ¡ surely there¡¯s some embarrassment to putting your face next to
Dunkin¡¯ Donuts¡ªwhat with so many kids watching your shows¡ªand Type 2
diabetes exploding like it is ¡ Surely there¡¯s a line for these people,
right?¡¯¡±
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